There once was a girl called Lien
Who had a magnificent fling
But Kate couldn't come
Because she was dumb
So she wrote her a poem insteadien

There once was a girl called Nadeesha
Every boy in the world wished to meet her
But she ignored them instead
And hung out with her friends
As her friends were less likely to eat her

There once was a girl called Misa
It is said that no man could resist her
And then one day that girl
Became queen of the world
And she killed all those who previously shitted her

There once was a girl called Sabrina
She blew up the world when it pleased her
She decided to dictate
With the philosophoire Kate
And so heil to our führer and leader

There once was a girl called Keren
Who owned her own 7-11
She killed the philosophers
As to her they were losers
And dined every night on red herring

There once was a girl called Shravya
She loved and respected Mufasa
Then she and Nadeesha
Both caught alopecia
So they ran off and joined the mafia

There once was a girl called Vy
Who lived in a giant gum tree
She slept in her locker
And went to the soccer
And frolicked about under the sea

There once was a girl called Lucy
Her hair was nutritious and juicy
She dressed all in grunge
Her best friend was a sponge
They swam all day in the deep blue sea

There once was a girl called Mary
Who was convinced that she was a faery
She lived in a flat
With twelve-hundred cats
And the love child she had with Drew Carey

There once was a girl called Belinda
Her favourite ever food was fish fingers
She ran for prime minister
And was corrupt, base and sinister
So fearing contest, the Liberals got rid of her

There once was a girl called Jess
Who made a spectacular mess:
The dummy she spat
She blew up her maths
And is now as a result calcu-less

Back

The Lullaby of the Crack Man by Keren
Go to sleep
Little Kate
So that I can caress you
Go to sleep
Do not wake
So that I can have my fun

Courtesy of Keren:
Once there was a girl called Kate,
She didn't believe in a thing called Fate.
So when Keren came along,
She stole Kate's thong,
And then Kate cried all day!

From the minds of Keren and Kate:
There once was a girl called Poo
Who lived in a tiny old zoo
Not many people liked her
So they grabbed a toothpick and spiked her
Yes, this story is sad, but its true
Of that little old girl named Poo

Courtesy of Misa:
There once was a girl called Mary,
Who was unbelievably hairy.
She went to the shop,
Had a hair chop,
And then she lived on a dairy.